DEATH, DIVORCE & MOVING are the three most stressful experiences in life.
There are two very different kinds of needs that people have while moving.
First there are the transactional needs, like finding the home that is just
right for you, finding a seller who is realistic, negotiating the price,
filling out the paperwork, handling the escrow, and arranging for the move.
But there are also emotional needs that are involved when moving, and this
is where the biggest stress comes in. Any competent agent will handle the
transactional needs for you, but if your emotional needs are unfulfilled,
you'll be frustrated and may not act in your own best interests. The ideal
real estate agent is one, who is competent with paperwork and numbers, but
can also guide, direct, and counsel you through the emotional ups and downs
of moving. Here are the six best ways we've found to beat the stress.

1. Begin with the end in mind. Have an ultimate scenario of where you're
trying to be. What will life be like when you get there? How will it be
better than where you are now? Dwell on that picture and write it out, fill
up at least a page about how it feels in the new place. This is imperative.
Having the goal in front of you at all times energizes you to achieve it, in
spite of setbacks and frustrations. Emotions will run high and you need an
anchor. In childbirth, the Lamaze method teaches you to focus on one spot
when enduring labor pains. In the Bible it says that Jesus willingly went to
the cross by focusing on the joy He would have when it was over. In the same
way, you too must focus on that future goal when anxiety threatens to get
the better of you.

2. Be flexible. In your monetary calculations, overestimate by a thousand
dollars. In this market, anything can happen between contract acceptance and
closing. It could be the inspections reveal areas of concern that the seller
is unwilling to fix or the repair costs are higher than the amount limited
in the contract. Or the interest rate changes which affects the necessary
down payment and closing costs you will need to come up with. As your real
estate team, we will strive to tie up loose ends as quickly as possible, but
remember there is no perfect world. Most buyers feel a bit overwhelmed when
taking on a new mortgage and the responsibilities of a new home and we've
seen many buyers get angry when it seems like the cost just keeps going up.
Anger is caused when reality doesn't match up with the expectations you had
in your mind. So if you anticipate this happening in advance, you won't get
angry. In fact, it'll probably go better than you expected.

3. Trust in the process. There's just so much to do, it's easy to panic. You
wonder if it will ever work out. In fact, when we bought our house, we
couldn't eat for a day, we felt sick to our stomachs! You think you're
taking a big chance, but the truth is you're giving yourself a big chance.
Even though you can't see every step of the way, as you move towards your
goals, the way opens up. We know that you haven't moved in a long time and
it's a major upheaval in your life. But we've been there many times before,
and we'll be looking out for you. Trust that we know the way to get you
there.

4. Get knowledge. One thing you'll probably feel during this transition time
is being out of control. It feels like everyone else has taken over your
life. The seller, your lender, the appraiser, the inspectors, they all have
the power to say yes or no to your moving plans. We'll try our best to let
you know ahead of time what your expenses will be, and what the unknowns
are. We'll tie down the loose ends as soon as possible. We'll try to get
your loan approved within a reasonable time frame. We'll educate you as best
we can and let you in "behind the scenes" so you won't ever feel stupid or
out of control.

5. What is your option? When things don't go as smoothly as you had hoped,
don't let emotions take over. Always ask yourself "What is my option?"
because there are always options. Let's pretend the lender takes longer
than agreed upon to get your loan. He keeps asking you for more and more
documentation until if feels like he also needs to know how many gold
fillings you have in your mouth! You'll feel upset because you wanted to
feel certain about the move and now you still have to live with the
uncertainty. You want to say "Forget it, I'm fed up with this!" But what is
your option? Find a new lender and start the process over again? That may
take weeks, plus you will have to provide all the paperwork over again. If
the lender is trying his best, it may be better to give him a few more days.
Each case is unique, but when setbacks occur we've found that asking
yourself this question helps to defuse the situation and restore clear
headed thinking.

6. Seek entertainment. When there's nothing you can do about the situation,
take your mind off of it altogether. Maybe you expected loan approval on
Friday, but now it won't come until Monday. You hate being in limbo and
feeling powerless. So do something else entirely, maybe something where you
aren't powerless. Take a hike, play tennis, get out of town for the day.
Watch a movie, pray, or pour yourself into your work. Whatever diversion
works best for you, now would be a good time to engage in it. Just forget
the situation and refuse to listen to those irritating thoughts when they
come into your head. Think about something else instead and just take it one
day at a time. To keep stress to a minimum, here's how I'll serve you when
you work with me in buying your new home: Give my best-reasoned expert
counsel and advice with your best interests in mind. Clarify your goals and
motivation, and decide if moving is the wisest choice at this time. Provide
recommendations and information to help your kids through all the changes.
Negotiate effectively for you to get the lowest possible price for your new
home. Treat your money like it was my own, shaving every expense possible.
Protect your interests during escrow, keeping a detailed record of the
transaction. Be your levelheaded sounding board or relief valve when the
stress is overwhelming. Counsel you through the feelings of "buyer's
remorse". Alert you ahead of time to every possibility so you feel more in
control. Contact you daily during the last 10 days of the transaction to
serve your needs. Provide guidance and help with movers, change of address,
utilities shut off, cleaning, etc. Deliver your closing paperwork. Continue
to give you information of value after the transaction... for life.